Be Warned

A personal blog about Persistent Depressive Disorder

Emotions

Emotions are hard. Recently I’m trying to find a way to deal with them correctly. This is not an easy thing. I’ve been reading up on emotions and what are considered ‘negative’ emotions. What I’m learning is that there are no negative emotions. We have a negative way of dealing with some of our emotions though. All our life we’re told anger is bad. Don’t be angry! But what if you’re angry because someone did not honor your boundaries? Doesn’t your anger protect you from this person or this situation? It does!

Why so sad? Another example of an emotion that is considered negative. Yet sadness can be very healing, for instance when you loose someone you love. Your sadness gives you time to mourn and after that time to heal.

I’m also reading about joy. I have a book written by the Dalai Lama and archbishop Desmond Tutu called ‘The book of Joy’. These two gentlemen are telling me that the ‘negative’ emotions are nessecary. They are intwined with all the ‘positive’ emotions. The principle is that without darkness there can be no light.

So what is depression then, I wonder? Am I just really bad at dealing with my emotions? Some believe it is purely a chemical imbalance, but I don’t think that’s the whole story.

I believe I got stuck in some primal way of being; my system is 24/7 in a state of high alert. This makes me tired, this makes me worn down, this makes me unable to function properly emotionally. So yes, I think I’m a little broken. I do sincerely hope it’s fixable. I hope I’ll be able to put my system back in a normal, relaxt state and only be on high alert when there is a problem that needs to be handled.

Love,

Suus

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